You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
