I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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