Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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