Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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