i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
