Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
