Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
