I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
