My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
