How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
