playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
