she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
