he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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