Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I want her autograph on my taint
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
