i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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