I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My vagina is officially offended.
you made out with another girl for some wings
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We need to get me chipped asap
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
