She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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