yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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