I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
