escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
