I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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