We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
