i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
