I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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