So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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