I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
