why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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