Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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