I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
