Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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