She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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