actually, I'm a sock model
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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