Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
