i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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