haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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