My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I bet he comes in French.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
