let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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