AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
