theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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