is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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