Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
