thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
