There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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