I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
