She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
