**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
