She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
