Please, let me fuck your mom
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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