I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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