Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
