85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
